It's been a while!
& I've been CRAZY!
I got engaged. November 30, 2012. Wedding set… May 19th, 2013. Graduating… May 3rd, 2013.
That seems insane, even to me… & I'm the one who planned it all. My life has never been more hectic. I've got 15 hours of classes, an internship at a preschool teaching 3 year olds, I'm planning my own wedding, I graduate in a month, not to mention the idea of being married is still settling into my head.
But this… this is not what I want to blog about, because these are things I think about every single day, all day long… so I'm blogging to escape from that. Moving on.
So, I'm sitting here. With an exam on Thursday.. obviously not studying. I can't help but to think of everything that is about to change. & that thought is a scary one. I'm getting married.. MARRIED! That's insane. INSANE! I love the idea, and I can't wait for it to happen.. but it's still foreign territory if ya know what I mean. I love Riley, I love him more than I have ever loved anyone in my whole life (except for Paul… that little boy just has my heart). I love the way he gets protective when a guy at a bar tries to talk to me, the way he will do whatever I want whenever I want majority of the time, the way he is so willing to just do, just do anything for me as long as it's plausible. I love how he tries to sing but isn't really good at it haha, & how dedicated he is to anything and everything he feels responsible for, even when it's his overbearing job or Alabama football; but with those things comes his dedication to me. He is so dedicated, & I love that. The way he snores at night, which can sometimes be frustrating, but other times… it's comforting, knowing that someone I love so much & who loves me so much is right beside me. The way he cooks… he's a good cook, even if everything he cooks has the same spices. I like that. He's thoughtful & nice & respecting & handsome & funny & cute & all other wonderful things. & I love him for all of it.
Now, moving past that rampage…
In 31 days I'll be moving out of my apartment. The apartment that I have lived in for my whole college career. Everything about my "grown up" life has happened here. First party. First time drunk. First night alone. First all nighter. First time trying to cook for myself. First time having the fire alarm go off. First time being genuinely lonely. First time meeting roommates. First time loving my roommates. First time hating my roommates. First time buying groceries for myself (which I still despise). First time gaining 30 pounds because I don't know how to cook. First time at college. First time missing a class. First failed exam. First aced exam. First time losing a best friend. First time calling mom at 3AM. I could go on… but needless to say, I am attached to this place. & although I have said a thousand times how much I hate it, I do call it home for now.
My parents and Riley's parents and Riley keep telling me to start packing. Start bringing stuff home… they don't realize that I'm not sure I want to just yet. The day I bring home a load of stuff is the day reality sets in, & that opens a lot of doors I don't want to face. Like getting a real job, or not having a 2 hour drive ahead of me anymore (which I know I mainly hate, but it's also refreshing). Bringing home my stuff yells "Michelle! It's time to be grown up now! It's time to get a job! It's time to get married! It's time to pay for yourself!" & that my friends, is a huge slap in the face by what we call REALITY. & it's a bit intimidating.
With all of this being said… I think you can tell that I'm a bit uneasy about all of these transitions that are about to take a toll on my life. I think anyone will agree that it's a huge step. That it's scary & happy & intimidating & exciting all at the same time. All of these emotions mixed together can make a super crazy Michelle though, let me tell ya. I find myself rarely sleeping & eating foods that a real bad for me.. (like this ginormous Easter Bunny which is solid chocolate). I can't study because I want to plan a wedding. I can't plan a wedding because it's overwhelming. I'm overwhelmed so I can't focus on anything. I can't focus so nothing gets done. It's a vicious cycle. Maybe in 31 days it will end. Or maybe in 31 days I'll have a meltdown. OR maybe in 31 days I'll love life a lot more. Or maybe I'll hate it. I guess I'll find out soon enough (31 days to be exact).
If you're reading this, which you're probably not because no one reads this thing, then just wish me luck, or pray for me if you're into that. I need any and all good vibes that can be sent my way, because my life is a quite the roller coaster & I'm ready to be at the top, so that the anticipation can be put to rest, & I can just be excited all the way down.
